I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
