Please, let me fuck your mom
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
