mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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