The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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