I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
