Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
