maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
