I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
