She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
