it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
