yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
