Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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