you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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