I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
wow bdsm is so cute
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
