you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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