his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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