Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
