six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
