i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
