let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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