8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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