Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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