Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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