How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
