She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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