do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
