so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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