Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize