I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
