I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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