It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
