nut hugger
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
