dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize