Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
