So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
