yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize