They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
