I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
