hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Houston, we have a blender
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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