hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
