Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
