I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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