This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
