i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
