I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
