you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
