dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
