Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
