i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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