so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it's like iHOP with fire
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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