Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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