dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
