Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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