dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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