She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize