Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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