Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
