and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
