Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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