We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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